Saturday, May 28, 2005

The End

The saga of my chinese tuition is complete and the only number I got was the teacher's. That is so sick and so sad.

The hottest girl in class only exchanged numbers with another girl and the three guys other than me already knew each others' numbers. The other hot girl from Singapore's Chinese Girl's School didn't appear 'cause she was supposed to be in the earlier class anyway.

At least I got a few photos of all of us, and it's expected that I'm the shortest in class. Maybe I'll post some of the photos next time.

Monday, May 23, 2005

No one is that ugly

Here are some ways to console yourself when someone calls you ugly.

If someone calls you a piece of shit, it means you are very useful 'cause you help to fertilize plants and you're actually feeding these people who are being mean to you, so they owe you. If you don't want to be helping them, remember that bullshit produces methane which depletes the ozone layer and you're actually speeding up the deaths of these people.

If someone thinks he/she is hotter than you, it means you're cooler than him/her.

If a guy laughs at you for being shorter than him, it means it'll be easier to punch him in the balls.

If someone laughs at you for being a virgin, it means you're purer than him/her and that he/she is a slut.

Remember that saying this to yourself is only self-denial and self-delusion, and may cause you to get laughed at even more. The Scavenger is not responsible for any loss of mental stability or emotional breakdowns.

Friday, May 20, 2005


Here's a really retarded thing to do if you have nothing else to do.

Turn your back on a person, turn your head to the left as much as possible to face him, put your left arm straight down and your right hand on your left elbow and shout "M-HAHA!!!"

It's fun and you can play for hours!

Monday, May 16, 2005

Knight Davion!

Wow! Knight Davion can destroy a tower single-handedly!

I guess I'm no hero-slayer when it comes to DotA, but more of a leader of the creeps. I died like 15 times in my last game but at least I had 1 kill (Stop laughing or I'll kill you). But it looked as though my teammates did most of the work on the enemy hero and I happened to be the last to hit him, so it's like a kill-steal situation...

There was this once when I almost killed Bone Clinz (I spelt it right this time) and I was so determined that I didn't care about running. I got killed by him and my team of creeps killed him for me.

I think I'm just gonna keep using Knight Davion from now on, but if someone chooses him before I do... I'm freakin' dead...

So if you want a defender of the base or a pusher who screams like a sissy when an enemy hero appears, let me be in your team!

Sunday, May 15, 2005


Just played a game of dotA with some strangers on euro bnet. Although we lost, it was one of the best games I have ever played.

Only one guy left and everyone fought well. My new favourite is now Knight Davion. Learnt some strategies for him, but still a freakin' noob.

It started off 4v4, then one guy from my team left and two guys from the other team left as well. So it was me, Knight Davion, with my teammates Morphling and Medusa against the two sneaky ones, Rikimaru and Bone Clinx(did I spell it right?).

There was this part when we lost 10 towers and the enemy lost 4, so I got really worried. I stuck to defending the base and suddenly the enemy lost 7 towers. Whoo!

Then there was this notice, saying the Scourge had destroyed all of our unit producing buildings. I got really worried, but for some reason units still appeared out of nowhere.

Then I rushed with my teammates and we actually led a large team all the way to the enemy base. That was when Rikimaru killed me. A little small, dark, sneaky fellow he is...
Well, I took 72 seconds to revive and when I finally did, I knew we had lost the fight. I just attacked for fun and the sign of defeat appeared.

Thought I lost, I learnt a bit from this game. Can't wait for my next round.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


Check this out, gang! The Yamakasi group!

DUDE! What the hell?! No strings attached! Try doing that man!
This is no camera trick. I've seen videos of them doing stunts like this before.
My ambition is to be one of them... If I can lose weight...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

E-maths & Geog

Today's the day we took our E-maths paper 1 and geog paper. I skipped some questions for E-maths cause I didn't know how to do them and if the Force is with me, I might just pass it.

The funny sh*t that happened today was during the geog paper. There was this one time when suddenly the pen seemed to malfunction. Ink refused to come out and I got real worried. I took the pen's tube out of the casing, bit the metal tip between my teeth and pulled it out. Then I blew through the other end of the tube, the one which didn't have the metal tip in the first place.

I hoped my blowing could clear a path in the tube in case the problem was caused by dry ink which was blocking the wet ink from coming out.

Air couldn't go through the tube, so I blew harder. That was when A small blob of ink burst out of the tube and onto the table. Fortunately the blob was kinda small(It came out of a small tube. What the hell did you expect?).

I fixed the metal tip back and tried again. It still didn't work. So I dipped the tip into the blob and tried to write, like what the people did in the old days with quill feathers. Still didn't work. All the ink would go on the first stroke, making a mini-puddle on the paper.

That was my only pen and I didn't want to ask a teacher if I could borrow a pen from someone else 'cause the teacher kept telling us "No borrowing of stationery is allowed". I just kept trying the "dipping and writing" method which made my words look like absolute crap and suddenly the pen started to work. Lena jack?

I wiped the puddle on the table with a piece of tissue and continued doing my work while looking at the unusually attractive luminous dark blue spot on the tissue.

This event has made me think(Stop being surprised): Life is like a pen. Well, actually it's not. I just typed this for fun.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Short farts are cool

I'm not supposed to be using the computer right now, but here's some crap for you to read anyway.

I screwed my social studies and chemistry SA1 today. Instead of feeling sad, I went to Triple L and indulged in laksa, iced tea, Brandon's leftover rice, Benjamin's leftover soup and a plate of onion rings. Altogether I spent $5.80. Great...

I watched an episode of Shaman King which I taped. Last Thursday's episode, where Yoh meets Faust VIII for the first time and Faust plays around with Manta's internal organs. For those who don't watch Shaman King, please don't mistaken me as a sick sadistic prick. The show's not like what you think it is.

Well, there was this thing that Manta said which had some meaning to it.."For every hundred people, there are a hundred different dreams. Dreams won't disappear just because of one's failure".

Kinda true. That midget who's like the height of Yoh's ass has such a big head. That explains the meaningful saying. I'm going to bathe and then take a nap. Hopefully I'll get to study more than one page today. 'Til next time. Peace out.

Characters from Shaman King. Left is Manta, middle is Yoh, right is Anna. Background must be some super bad guy.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Metropolis - Dream Theater

The smile of dawn
Arrived early May
She carried a gift from her home
The night shed a tear
To tell her of fear
And of sorrow and pain
She'll never outgrow

Death is the first dance, eternal

There's no more freedom
The both of you will be confined to this mind

I was told there's a miracle for each day that I try
I was told there's a new love that's born for each one that has died
I was told there'd be no one to call on when I feel alone and afraid
I was told if you dream of the next world
You'll find yourself swimming in a lake of fire

As a child, I thought I could live without pain without sorrow
But as a man I've found it's all caught up with me
I'm asleep yet I'm so afraid

Somewhere like a scene from a memory
There's a picture worth a thousand words
Eluding stares from faces before me
It hides away and will never be heard of again

Deceit is the second without end

The city's cold blood teaches us to survive
Just keep my heart in your eyes and we'll stay alive

The third arrives...

Before the leaves have fallen
Before we lock the doors
There must be a third and last dance
This one will last forever
Metropolis watches and thoughtfully smiles
She's taken you to your home
It can only take place
When the struggle between our children has ended
Now the Miracle and the Sleeper know that the third is love

Love is the Dance of Eternity

Dream Theater is (From left): John Petrucci (guitars), Mike Portnoy (drums), James Labrie (vocals), John Rudess (keyboard) and John Myung (bass)

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Leave if you happen to be eating now

I have this marvellous bottle of magical liquid at home. When you're about to crap what you do is you release one freakin' drop of it into the toilet water and when you crap, you can't smell a thing. Isn't that great?

Well, there was this incident when I crapped without dripping the magical liquid and when the smell reminded me, I whipped the bottle out from this rack and released a drop of the liquid. I was about to place the bottle back inside the rack when it happened.

It was like a slow motion effect when I looked at itslip off my fingers, spin one round in the air while falling into the disgusting water filled with waste. I looked at it floating around in the water.

Oh God, what the hell am I supposed to do?

I had no choice. As I sank my forefinger and thumb into the brownish transparent water, I was having the "time of my life". I took the bottle out and quickly washed my hands and the bottle with plenty of soap. I was glad that the whole incident was over and I sat down, continuing my crapping.

When I flushed, I had a glimpse behind the toilet bowl.

That was when I saw a pair of metal tongs.

... ...

Sunday, May 01, 2005

She's Nubs - NOFX

It's kinda hard to wear high heels, or slip on banana peels
How does she get in and out of tubs
I hope she dont get mad, I hope she thinks this song is good not bad
Cause we think that she's totally rad, she's nubs.

No fingers, no toes, she doesn't own elbows,
No phalanges no knobby knees to knock
She don't need knuckles or hands to go see punk rock bands
She's always in the stands, she's nubs
She can't pick up a phone, she can't get dressed alone
She's got no funny bone, she's nubs
No shoes for feet but we sure do think she's neat, she's nubs, she's nubs, she's nubs.

I asked her if she want a drink, I asked her if she liked Toronto,
I asked her to go out to the bar, but all she said was no thanks, no and no

It was time for us to leave, so I grabbed and shook her sleeve
and told her I'd see her at the next club she got into a pack
and some guy put her on his back, she said goodbye and kinda waved her stub

She's got beauitful eyes, and breasts regular size,
but without calves and thighs, she's nubs
It's hard to give good head or get tied to a bed,
when all you've got is a body and head, she's nubs

She's nubs, She's nubs, She's nubs...

Oh she may not walk the walk, and she may not like to talk
But boy she sure knows how to rock, she's nubs.